Who was Buffy's best boyfriend?

[BuffyIsTheBest]

I'm a big Bangel shipper, but I'm curious to see who is the most popular.

 

[Plasma]

Spike for me, but notably post-ensoulment Spike. He got a lot better after he got his soul back, especially in the S10 & 11 comics.

 

[TamsinValencia]

I voted for Spike but I would give Angel credit too. There has been times where it has switched for me.

 

[BuffyBot22]

Angel all the way!
He loved her unconditionally. He loved her enough to let her go to have a normal life.
He loved her without physical intimacy's in s3 due to previous Angelous issues in s2.

 

[MDuah]

Angel all the way

 

[FluffyPuppy]

I voted for Spike. Even though at the start of their relationship I wouldn’t say he was what was best for her. But I think they both needed each other, and even though they went through tonnes of awful moments and not exactly treating each other in the way they deserved, I think they came out the other side and especially through season 7, grew to a new level of love for each other.

From a show perspective I do have an argument that Angel was and I think will always be one of Buffys greatest loves. He was her first love and has proved he will always be there for her. So I can’t rule him out completely, but from a complete viewer point of view, I much preferred the Buffy and Spike dynamic, and ever since I watched the show when it aired and on the countless rewatches, I’m always rooting for Spike and Buffy.

 

[Stake fodder]

"None of the above" should be an option. I think all of her boyfriends had good points, but all were problematic in different ways. I am Team Cookie Dough!

 

[Buffy Summers]

I said Riley. He would have been the best long term. Until they decided to get rid of him and made him go crazy lol

 

[Ann]

I voted Angel. Angel accepted Buffy for who she was and never had a problem that she was stronger than him. Angel never had a problem with being Buffy’s boyfriend. He was also a big help especially with his knowledge of the demon world. He was there for Buffy and was there for her when they were no longer a couple. He understood Buffy’s not fitting in because he didn’t fit in either in the human world nor the vampire world.
Angel was always there for Buffy when she needed someone to listen and even after they were no longer a couple. He was loyal to Buffy when Faith tried to put the moves on him and always brushed off Cordelia’s advances. I have no doubt the same thing would have happened no matter who the female was. and I have no doubt the same thing would have happened no matter who the female was. Angel never abused Buffy or mistreated her in any way and cherished her.
Angel if they had stayed together would have stood by Buffy throughout their life. Angel no only was the best boyfriend would have been the best husband for her too. If he was human that would have even better. All these things and more make Angel the better boyfriend and the one to be with.

 

[RachM]

Pike.

Genuinely sweet guy, little bit of a slacker but really liked Buffy, helped her out, encouraged her to do the right thing and showed up at Prom for her. They even ran off together at the end of the movie! He wasn't a cursed vampire, a cardboard caveman or an abusive partner. Winning!

Also, he's Luke Perry. Big plus!

 

[Plasma]

I said Riley.

 

[Antho]

Xander ? 🙄😀

 

[Ihamze94]

Riley. No question. Spike was the worst in my opinion

 

[thetopher]

Fair to say that Riley made Buffy the least miserable, so I guess he gets the win by...default. Buffy was happy with him for the majority of their relationship 'A New Man' to 'Into The Woods'.
He's also the only boyfriend who Buffy ever got to have a nice, uneventful summer with. That's months of romance and drama free good times we didn't even witness:

Summer between S1 and 2; Trauma-Buffy is in LA, Angel pines alone.
Summer between S2 and 3: Heartbroken-Buffy is in LA (again) and Angel is being tortured in hell dimension. Bummer.
Summer between S3 and 4: Buffy is a sad, date-less monster!
Summer between S5 and 6: Buffy be dead. Although apparently she has a pretty happy summer.
Summer between S6 and 7: Single Buffy trains Dawn.

And whilst they had their problems I think Angel was a pretty good ex; considering 'Forever' and 'End Of Days' he was there for Buffy when it counted.

Spike was worst because horrible mental abuse and attempted rape obvs.

 

[Dora]

Buffy only had one real boyfriend Riley, so he had to be the best of a bad lot
Angel a vampire not human
Parker a one night stand
Riley a boyfriend
Spike a Vampire not human

 

[thrasherpix]

Going by what the writers showed, I have to grudgingly give it to Angel, for not only the one who loved her best, but also the one she seemed to love the most (even in season 7 despite that was more Spike's show by then).

Despite a former member's eloquent argument that Riley displayed red flag behavior from season 4 that makes what he did in season 5 to be expected (so I headcanon it that way, at least as much as I can accept it, and what I can't I headcanon as the monk manipulation via altered memories that I don't need to explain here), it still just FEELS like he got sabotaged by the writers (and yet strangely also seem to take his side). So it's just in the back of my mind how sometimes plot and writer goals can be heavy handed in making the characters fit the plot more than the plot fitting the characters, and therefore doesn't feel...legite.

Because of that, I can't choose between the 3 (or I should say the 2).

 

[BuffyIsTheBest]

Buffy only had one real boyfriend Riley, so he had to be the best of a bad lot
Angel a vampire not human
Parker a one night stand
Riley a boyfriend
Spike a Vampire not human

Angel and Spike were still her boyfriends, even though they were vampires.

 

[Dora]

Angel and Spike were still her boyfriends, even though they were vampires.

They can not possible be they were both demons, Vampires are parasites they feed off humans and when they come to breed the Sire almost kill's a human then make them drink their blood then the human dies frequently buried to rise again as a vampire, they have no heart beat, are cold with super powers as Buffy says they are not you but the thing that killed you
Buffy both sleeps with Angel and Spike Both when she is venerable Angel gets inserted into her life when she is young, she falls in love with him and he takes advantage of her, later he walks away because its the best for Buffy. Spike takes advantage when she is totally mentally screwed up and has abandonment issues, would Spike had happened if Giles had not left? I think not
The whole inserting a human sole into a Vampire which the gypsy's, the Demon and Willow are guilty of always make me feel uneasy, Buffy had real problems of being pulled out of heaven imagine being pulled out of heaven then having to share your own dead body with a demon and a constant battle between doing good and evil
If anything Buffy is guilty of bestiality and necrophilia but I believe she is the one being taken advantage of both vampires inserted themselves into her life by helping her patrol and making her dependant on them
Back to topic Angel and Spike are not human they are demons or with souls a cross between a demon and dead human, they cannot be classed as human hence as in not a boyfriends, so only Riley qualifies

 

[NileQT87]

Did you miss the part where they explained that Angel was given his human soul back, ergo he was essentially the very human Liam forced to deal with 145 years of horrific, new memories of a demon stuffed in his head. Angel with a soul is both a human and a demon. A dead human man whose corpse was hijacked by a demonic parasite having his human self stuffed back in, then forced to deal with demonic urges and survival needs.

The being who fell in love with Buffy was very much a human man and that was actually part of the problem. Angel said it himself. "It's not the demon in me that needs killing, Buffy. It's the man."

Liam/Angel was arguably as new to love as Buffy was. Liam and Angelus may have been debauched, but those feelings of shared empathy over their loneliness at being the only ones of their kinds straddling two words, yet accepted by neither, and understanding true, selfless, sacrificial love were quite new. But it was ultimately the temptations of the human Liam/Angel who were the biggest threat, as it was his human, not demonic, temptation that triggered Angelus. And yet, at every stage, he was always the one trying to pull back from the relationship (right up through the end of Surprise) until Buffy and Willow guilt-tripped him for staying away. Rather importantly, he was completely innocent to the rules of his ensoulment. Until Angel had to put the halt on the relationship for the world's sake, and despite his many warnings that he spoke aloud all along right from the beginning (what he says in 1x07 and Bad Eggs is practically the breakup speech verbatim), he very much let Buffy be in control of every step in their relationship moving forward. He was the one usually trying to slow it down and urge against it at every step.

Nobody was sweeter to Buffy when it came to listening to her talk about her days, urging her to think about the future (ultimately revealing his own greatest desire: fatherhood--for all the talk of him not being an open book about himself, this was a huge reveal that had profound impact on his own arc), trying to find ways to connect her to her human life before being the Slayer and sharing words of wisdom on everything from parental issues to self-worth if not for powers to why they fight.

He was indeed a "perfect gentleman" when it came to the human aspects of courtship, despite being what he is. He was vicariously also living the part of a human man in love that he very much desired to be. It's yet another reason he's so reluctant for her to witness his demonic side, despite her best efforts to quell his unease. We see this not only with her touching and kissing his game face, but him being visibly uncomfortable with his dietary habits being witnessed--even when she was the one bringing him blood from the butcher. And of course, his initial refusals to save his own life by feeding on her until she forced him. Despite her efforts at demonstrating her comfortableness around his inhumanity, he very much wanted her to see him as human. Angel ultimately did get a bit more comfortable around his team later, but even then you often saw his desire for them to see him as just a man instead of a monster. He reveled in human activities such as fixing scrambled eggs for the humans he was caring for. That was always Angel. He's the monster who desperately wants to be human, even if he also wants it to be earned.

Liam had always been capable of love, as we saw with his sister Kathy, but it was overwhelmed by what actually seems to have been bitterness born out of having interests that could never be realized (Liam hints at it with his line, "I always wanted to see the world, but...") and his inability to be what his father wanted him to be (likely a linen and silk merchant) rather than what *he* wanted to be. What do we see as common traits in both Angelus and Angel? Both human and demon are extremely intelligent artists, art collectors, lovers of the arts and world travelers who speak numerous languages. Seems that's what Liam felt denied before he drowned himself in bitterness, booze and wenches. We hear hints from Angel that Liam was also driven to looking for something other than what his own time could provide as far as exciting women went, so went looking in all the wrong places until it literally killed him. There's a lot more continuity (on a deeper level, not just the surface) between Liam and Angel than many pretend.

It's incorrect to say that a vampire with a soul isn't also capable of being a human *and* a boyfriend. The soul means that a being that was born very much human is literally in control of their old body, even if it's no longer a human body. And thus, when it comes to being a boyfriend, it's very much that remaining, still-surviving human side being emotionally nourished after a long drought.

Nobody tried harder to keep Buffy connected to her human life and to life outside of being the Slayer as a means to give her something to live for. He was the one who always tried to urge her to consider what she might want in a future that he could never give her, but wanted nothing more than for her to have everything he never could. Angel was always the big picture thinker thinking of the best possible future, even if it was the decision that hurt the most in the short term. He sacrificed his own happiness most of all.

But he also had a self-identity much stronger than merely being a boyfriend, as like Buffy, he understood that their lives were not their own. Yet, at the same time, he also knew that both of them needed something to live for and to tie them to the world they were trying to help. Angel was the most equal of all of Buffy's boyfriends, as he's the only one who knows what it's like to be as much of a lonely, unique Atlas-esque hero straddling two worlds they don't fit in as she is. Riley and Spike are far more comfortable as followers of organizations or teams than they are as the leaders making the hard, often horrible decisions like Buffy and Angel. However, Angel is more apt to make the harder choices himself, even if Wesley certainly learned from the master. While Buffy certainly had to make her share of terrible choices (more of them in the early seasons, I'd argue!--Prophecy Girl and Becoming showcase Buffy at her most selfless, sacrificial best making the hardest decisions of her life), unwillingness to kill evil humans became a major problem to the point where Giles had to step in. Angel, of course, spends most of his show dealing with a significant amount of very human evils.

As far as the relationship decision went, it's quite important that Buffy acknowledged that even though she desperately didn't want to face it, she knew everything Angel said to her during their breakup was right. On the contrary, Giles was particularly concerned that Spike didn't have the self-awareness and insight to leave as Angel had done.

As far as Riley goes, it wasn't just the final nails in the coffin in season 5. It's really The Yoko Factor where the end of Briley is spelled out. It wasn't even just merely meeting the ex and coming up short. Note that Riley very much began that fight that Angel spent the whole time just trying to get away from (kept trying to go for the ladder to the roof) while being jumped and attacked with no benefit of the doubt. Not only did Riley accuse Angel of being Angelus, but also accused Buffy of being unfaithful and turning Angel into Angelus, despite all evidence to the contrary displayed by the fact that Angel really just wanted to get away from the soldiers that jumped him and didn't kill any of them. Riley also rubbed in one of Angel's greatest insecurities (as Spike did again in Destiny), which is how he lost his soul and the nature of his curse, but that's not remotely the worst of what Riley says. Riley crossed the line when he accused his girlfriend of being unfaithful to him and straight up insinuated that she slept with her ex. Boy, did Riley not trust Buffy. Not that Xander's words helped (behold the source) in both this case and when he tried to guilt Buffy into thinking Riley was the one even after he had cheated on her and guilt-tripped her over caring more about her dying, hospitalized mother than him. The red flag behavior is right there in season 4.

 

[BuffyIsTheBest]

They can not possible be they were both demons, Vampires are parasites they feed off humans and when they come to breed the Sire almost kill's a human then make them drink their blood then the human dies frequently buried to rise again as a vampire, they have no heart beat, are cold with super powers as Buffy says they are not you but the thing that killed you
Buffy both sleeps with Angel and Spike Both when she is venerable Angel gets inserted into her life when she is young, she falls in love with him and he takes advantage of her, later he walks away because its the best for Buffy. Spike takes advantage when she is totally mentally screwed up and has abandonment issues, would Spike had happened if Giles had not left? I think not
The whole inserting a human sole into a Vampire which the gypsy's, the Demon and Willow are guilty of always make me feel uneasy, Buffy had real problems of being pulled out of heaven imagine being pulled out of heaven then having to share your own dead body with a demon and a constant battle between doing good and evil
If anything Buffy is guilty of bestiality and necrophilia but I believe she is the one being taken advantage of both vampires inserted themselves into her life by helping her patrol and making her dependant on them
Back to topic Angel and Spike are not human they are demons or with souls a cross between a demon and dead human, they cannot be classed as human hence as in not a boyfriends, so only Riley qualifies

No matter what they are, they still count. They loved her and she loved Angel, and that's what matters. They both risked their lives for her many times. If you are in a romantic relationship with someone, and its more than sex, it counts.