Angel & Spike & Age Gaps

Both relationships have an age gap; the question should really be how much agency does the younger partner have in said relationship? How are they shown to set the terms of the relationship? Is there a weird power dynamic at play? Are there signs of coercion and/or manipulation? What about blackmail or emotional abuse? (by the older partner)

If all of these things are done by the older person on the younger then the age gap should matter much more, because that is what people in the real world often watch out for with those 'May to December' affairs.
I mean, the size of the age gap should be a factor but so should the relationship outside the romance; are they co-workers? Mentor and junior? Professor and student? Therapist and patient? All of those are incredibly sketchy because of the power imbalance outside the romance stuff.
 
NotASlayer
NotASlayer
Oddly, given that Riley is in a position of power with relation to Buffy, that's the only relationship she has any real agency in, especially as she has absolutely none with Spike.
@NotASlayer That one is doubly bad, because while many universities have issues with TAs having relationships with students, pretty much ALL of them would have an issue with a TA having a relationship when the student is in the class they are a TA for.

Incidentally, Law and the Multiverse is a site that takes fictional situations from conics and other media and attempts to apply real world law to them, It seemsto have died out, but there's an article about Mind Control and Sexual Assault (so trigger warning). Among other things, in the comments there's also notes from the writer about actual/apparent appearance and statutory consent laws.
 
NotASlayer
NotASlayer
Although not even close to the worst thing that the Initiative was doing.
Yes, every school has different rules and customs regarding grad students, but dating someone who is grading your papers is usually a big no-no. But very few elder millennials are threatened by grad students dating 17 or 18 year olds, which I still suspect is the real origin of this controversy/ moral panic.
 
I guess Buffy and Riley is saved by the fact that its not really framed as teacher/student. I mean, they do go on precisely one date- a picnic- and then its all 'oh, we're both monster hunters!' and then escalates from there.
I suppose there are crazy people out there who do things like 'count the number of times Riley grabs Buffy's arm' and say that he's a controlling, red-flag waving abusive nightmare but its not because he's a TA.

It always seemed to me that, romance-wise Buffy was always on firmer footing in the earlier seasons. if she liked a guy romantically she'd straight up kiss them (Owen, Angel) and if she didn't like them she beat them up if they tried (hyena!Xander, that swim douche).
But later on its gets decidedly blurrier, she psychologically worn down, gaslit, assaulted and harassed and yet have claimed that older Buffy 'has more agency' in the later years and that why they like certain ships.
 
@Joan the Vampire Slayer - Buffy is of age when she gets with Spike. No doubt.

My basic question is: if getting together with a vamp 225 years older is bad why id getting together with a vamp 110 years older ok?

They both seem equally gross.
 
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