I have also heard that he was discouraged from working out - which can be fatal to a young male actor. I often got the feeling he felt too grateful to Joss for giving him a career.
I sometimes wonder if he did not follow Joss's lead and end up derailing his life. There is more than one kind of abuse... There is 'Harry' and there is 'Dudley' both are mistreated but one thinks they are the favourite.... That can be harder to escape.
The one who 'gets away' may have actually a better outcome because he knows he was abused and can walk away without looking back.
Sometimes the 'controlled' person takes years to figure out they are being played by an authority figure . They actually feel guilty to walk away from the abuser/controller who has done 'so much' for them.
Stockholm syndrome can be huge.
The 'spoiled' child often is condemned by others for their behaviour because sociopaths usually dont make other sociopaths, they just wreck people - some 'directly' and some with great subtlety.
LIFE WITH NARCISSIST ABUSERS:
* Smart people walk away (Sarah, ASH, probably David) - these are usually people with enough power to RUN.
* Some rebels, difficult kids (hard to control) get punished and destroyed (Charisma, maybe to a degree Michelle (until sarah and others protected her), Many lower level 'disobedient'on-set staff)
* Some dependent get groomed & controlled and eagerly follow the lead of the sociopath, usually without developing the "charm" face that hides the abuser for years (Nick).
When they come apart spectacularly no one associates it with abuse or the abuser - and many don't come back together. The abuse isnt always visible as abuse.
There are a lot of "Dudleys" in this category. They use drugs, get fat, become abusive. They dont know they are mortally wounded.
* Some favourites are too valuable to be shown the ugly face - they are the truly talented that the abuser knows can make their career - they never get mistreated while they are serving the narcissist (Alexis, Allyson, Amy Acker). They know ONLY the charmer (or do for years). These are the defenders. Their careers can depend on the abuser for years. They may feel a little trapped but also cared for. They learn slowly that if they behave, they reap benefits. When they step out of line, it is usually painful, but by then, they are true believers... Because the narcissist has helped them - for their own purposes.
* Outsiders mostly only see the charmer... As long as the narcisssist can get something from them. Only one missstep too many many pull the narcissists mask off...
I have had two narcissists in my life. One i ran from. One i was related to.
The elder one died with a major fan base, but also a huge number of family who shunned them... They had almost no family at their lovely funeral.
They left emotional and financial wreckage everywhere, but the 'stars' in their life (admirers/those who could give them stuff) never saw the ugly. Some still think the rest of us (family, mostly) are crazy for walking away or simply warning them.
