Is it me, or was Xander done dirty?

[Bishop Cruz]

I have been ride or die with Xander since the show first aired. Identified with him, his awkwardness, his normalcy even his passive-aggressive BS at times. I always found it interesting how even in the early seasons, he was vehemently hated by a pretty big portion of the fanbase. Part of that is him being the designated "Buffy makes horrible life decisions" spokesman. Anyone who gets in the way of Bangel or Spuffy is gonna get much hate, no doubt. But I think beyond that, the writers dropped the ball with him more and more as the series went on. He felt like the Harry Kim of the Buffyverse.

He didn't start that way, though. Xander, I think, gets the hate he does less for what he actually DID but the emotional reaction that he got out of people when he did make mistakes. Xander didn't like Buffy with the two biggest Love Interests in the show; he especially hated Angel, for a good reason in those early seasons, didn't much like vampires, and was absolutely brutal when he got into a verbal spat with anyone. Sometimes he was right, sometimes, he was wrong, and sometimes it was a no-win scenario where people who were hurt or angry lashed out at each other. All the characters did it at one point or another, but with Xander, it seemed to stick because he was consistently the only one in the peer group to call out Buffy, who is the character I would say most identified with.

Other things didn't help. Xander did not have a storyline of importance since at least season 4, when the original plan was to have him be part of the Initiative, but that got shelved. (Or so I heard, but it would have made sense. Him going through basic over the summer, then getting recruited.) Past that, his only role was being the guy dating Anya and being funny. By the end of S7 the funny part had been taken over by Andrew. For being the second person in the opening credits, he really did get done dirty as the show went on. He wasn't allowed to change and grow in the same way other characters were.

Every season since S3 we had an episode where Xander proved he wasn't a loser. He was a less capable fighter the more the show progressed. He used to be able to at least somewhat fight in seasons 1-3, and he'd be a great tactical guy too, even if he wasn't that book smart. He lead the troops in Graduation day, got the rocket launcher in innocence, saved the school in Zeppo, and many many more things. The man also had balls of steel in those early seasons, facing down Angel in Killed by Death still remains one of the most underrated moments in all of Buffy. So great.

Yet those later seasons hurt. Yes, he was always there for a pep talk, but that basically became his whole character. That and being there for quips with Anya. Willow had a storyline outside of her life with Tara, Buffy had stories outside of her life with Riley/Spike/Angel. Xander used to have an arc irrespective of his love life, but that went away. Once he and Anya became a thing it was very much all about her for three seasons. Not that there wasn't great stuff there. Hell's Bells is a personal favorite of mine, because it GETS his insecurities the way other episodes do not. His desire to not BE his parents was actually great, but it was separated from the rest of the series' main plots. Willow/Tara were integrated well into the overall tapestry of each season they were featured in. Buffy's romances were always front and center story wise as well. But Xander often felt like a side story, season 4 was all about his wacky jobs, he was mostly set decoration in Season 5, he had a few great moments but mostly nothing in S6, and after the false start of greatness in the first few episodes of S7 he faded into the background before losing an eye.

And the sad thing is, he could have been so much more as the show progressed. Look at Wesley, a far crappier character who came into his own and became another fave of the fanbase, did HORRIFIC things, but had character growth that affected the plot. I look at Xander and just see so much wasted potential.

 

[Bop]

I agree- I see a lot of people say Xander was better in the later seasons because he matured and grew up but it really wasn't done in a way that makes a compelling story it was just kind of 'look Xander has a real career now he's not selling pizzas anymore, he's wearing a suit, that means he's evolved' and that's kind of it. He was much more of a character in the high school seasons.

Wesley came into his own very quickly because I'd say he becomes a great character in Angel season 1.

 

[Bishop Cruz]

I agree- I see a lot of people say Xander was better in the later seasons because he matured and grew up but it really wasn't done in a way that makes a compelling story it was just kind of 'look Xander has a real career now he's not selling pizzas anymore, he's wearing a suit, that means he's evolved' and that's kind of it. He was much more of a character in the high school seasons.

Wesley came into his own very quickly because I'd say he becomes a great character in Angel season 1.

Yeah, I still like Xander in later seasons but it seems that many fans only liked him when all of the rough edges were sanded off. When he was not a threat at all to the preferred ship of the day. And it isn't that I don't like mature Xander, but it felt that as he matured he became blander and blander. He could have had his emotional maturity AND been more competent and involved in the story. These things are not mutually exclusive.

But then again, I am a weirdo. Been a Bander shipper long before the term Bander was in use, never bought into Xander/Anya long term, and still think Angel was a creepy bastard for three seasons before he finally came into his own once he moved to LA.

It really is a shame because he was always intended to be the maile lead of the show but that basically lasted 12 episodes. Running through seasons 1-3 you can see real growth in Xander moving away from being an insecure boy to what amounted to Buffy's majordomo. I know I said it above, but still get annoyed at how he got worse at fighting as the seasons progressed.

 

[Bop]

Yeah, I still like Xander in later seasons but it seems that many fans only liked him when all of the rough edges were sanded off.

Exactly, not to gatekeep but just in my opinion I can't see how their love for Xander could be that genuine if they only love him when he basically just shuts up and becomes a more muted supporter guy in the background.

But then again, I am a weirdo. Been a Bander shipper long before the term Bander was in use, never bought into Xander/Anya long term, and still think Angel was a creepy bastard for three seasons before he finally came into his own once he moved to LA.

Bander would have totally worked and made sense in season 7 of Buffy, I can see why Sarah and Nick proposed it.

I know I said it above, but still get annoyed at how he got worse at fighting as the seasons progressed.

Yeah, the way Xander was portrayed as a fighter got so much worse after season 3. In Becoming during the library fight scene Xander is framed as being pretty much equally as good as Giles at holding off the vamps.

 

[Stake fodder]

You're right that Xander often surprised us with his ability to organize and fight, despite not having powers. I think the writers didn't really know what to do with him, especially in a show that was supposed to highlight teen girls' abilities. Also, they maybe bent over backward to keep Xander on the sidelines, so as not to seem to be making the show about a teen boy. The fact that he was mainly shown as part of a relationship is the flip side of how many young women are treated on other shows, existing to be a love interest. But they could have tried harder with him.

 

[AlphaFoxtrot]

I blame Spike and Anya. Spike clearly ate up unplanned screen time, and had the support of the network, so any appearances he made weren't going to come out of Buffy or Willow's screen time, so Xander took the bullet. If you think Xander had this amazing gay storyline where Nicky Brendon put on the performance of his career, then Anya's call up to regular probably killed that plot dead. The Writers never truly abandoned the character, but you only get 52 minutes a week. You have three main characters who were very interesting in their own right.

 

[Bishop Cruz]

You're right that Xander often surprised us with his ability to organize and fight, despite not having powers. I think the writers didn't really know what to do with him, especially in a show that was supposed to highlight teen girls' abilities. Also, they maybe bent over backward to keep Xander on the sidelines, so as not to seem to be making the show about a teen boy. The fact that he was mainly shown as part of a relationship is the flip side of how many young women are treated on other shows, existing to be a love interest. But they could have tried harder with him.

It's an interesting point. But I do think the strongest seasons of Buffy they actually had things for him to do. But in retrospect I think Buffy didn't do great with mle characters not named Giles in the long run, and even he got a little screwed over in seasons 6 and 7. Angel was far more interesting on his own show than he ever was on Buffy, and souled Spike was far better on Angel than he was on season of Buffy too.

I suppose the only real thing against Xander being sidelined in order to make the show more female centric is that no other male got sidelined in the same way. in these later seasons. Spike got massive screentime, and Giles remained competent. Wood's story went nowhere but I suppose that could be the fault of S7 more than anything else.

I blame Spike and Anya. Spike clearly ate up unplanned screen time, and had the support of the network, so any appearances he made weren't going to come out of Buffy or Willow's screen time, so Xander took the bullet. If you think Xander had this amazing gay storyline where Nicky Brendon put on the performance of his career, then Anya's call up to regular probably killed that plot dead. The Writers never truly abandoned the character, but you only get 52 minutes a week. You have three main characters who were very interesting in their own right.

Well if you go down that route, blame Seth Green for leaving which sealed the deal for Willow. This does of course open the door to the conversation of the original plan of randomly picking one of Willow or Xander to be gay was a flawed concept. Not inherently, but because one wasn't picked from the start. As a result, you had two characters written as being very hetero for three seasons, then flipping a switch and boom, now gay. It only worked as well as it did because of the chemistry between Amber and Alyson, which on original airing people were calling out even before the decision had been made to do the relationship.

I could rant more on this, specifically the bi-erasure aspect that never much gets mentioned... but anyhow. But hey, if you want gay Xander just read the latest comic, new universe again, and he's gay there, as is Willow.

Thinking about it, the official comics went down the same road as the TV show as well. He started off as useful a major player in Buffy's army, then he started dating Dawn, and for the rest of the series, his relationship defined his entire story arc. Kind of uncanny. Then in the first reboot he got vamped and dusted.

Exactly, not to gatekeep but just in my opinion I can't see how their love for Xander could be that genuine if they only love him when he basically just shuts up and becomes a more muted supporter guy in the background.



Bander would have totally worked and made sense in season 7 of Buffy, I can see why Sarah and Nick proposed it.



Yeah, the way Xander was portrayed as a fighter got so much worse after season 3. In Becoming during the library fight scene Xander is framed as being pretty much equally as good as Giles at holding off the vamps.

Bander would have worked twice in the series. Season 4 and Season 7. Going into season 4 a lot of the fanbase thought there was a very good chance it would happen. Angel and Cordy were gone, both characters were single, no one knew where Anya was going (she also got done dirty as her ENTIRE arc was about Xander for four damn seasons.) Hell, her first college hookup Parker was basically just a Xander lookalike.

Season 7 was perfect for it. They seem like a happy married couple up until CWDP, but that's the episode where the season takes a nosedive anyway.

 

[AlphaFoxtrot]

Re: Seth Green; Absolutely, I blame Seth Green. Think about it, season 4 was going to be the Buffy and Willow show, plus Oz. Those were the breakout stars, playing the most interesting characters, who appealed to the key demographics. You also can't keep an actor like Seth Green unless you keep him interested. You bring in Riley, who at least looks the part. You know ASH wants out, you minimize his role, with plans of dropping him. That leaves Xander. In that setup, Xander as the wacky gay sidekick... Kind of works?

However, for that scenario to be true, it would lead to the question, why was Anya brought in as Xander 's girlfriend in the Harsh Light of Day, if you were trying to set him up as gay? I think it's more likely his stuff got pushed to the side for Spike's material.

 

[IndianaSolo221]

I was also thinking about this yesterday, because if I were to rank which of the show's main characters are the most well-developed, Xander would probably be second to last, if not the very last character in the ranking. For someone who was introduced in S1, he really doesn't have very much character development. I have to wonder if I would appreciate him more if the showrunners had done more with him.

 

[Joan the Vampire Slayer]

Hmm. I see your point, and I agree that Xander was underdeveloped and underutilized....but. But I'd argue that Xander's strength was his relationship with the Scoobies, particularly Buffy. I've said this before, but it's my absolute belief that Xander was Buffy's best friend, not Willow, though it was always assumed it was Willow. Remember Xander is the heart. He was put on the sidelines to allow the others to shine, but he was always the most supportive. That's why it's so tragic how he loses an eye...helping Buffy of course. Just my two cents.

 

[Bishop Cruz]

Re: Seth Green; Absolutely, I blame Seth Green. Think about it, season 4 was going to be the Buffy and Willow show, plus Oz. Those were the breakout stars, playing the most interesting characters, who appealed to the key demographics. You also can't keep an actor like Seth Green unless you keep him interested. You bring in Riley, who at least looks the part. You know ASH wants out, you minimize his role, with plans of dropping him. That leaves Xander. In that setup, Xander as the wacky gay sidekick... Kind of works?

However, for that scenario to be true, it would lead to the question, why was Anya brought in as Xander 's girlfriend in the Harsh Light of Day, if you were trying to set him up as gay? I think it's more likely his stuff got pushed to the side for Spike's material.

Oz and Riley both had the problem that they only became interesting right before they left. I think for a show with the tone of Buffy the only real development the writers had a talent for was going a bit dark. They even tried this with Dawn in S6 before realizing it didn't work.

That being said, while I think Xander as the wacky gay sidekick might have made him less hated, knowing myself I would have despised it. Probably because it would have made less sense than Willow, but US TV at the time wouldn't have been ready for it. Lesbians were the "acceptable" gay in genre fiction at the time.

Then again, the "one of the scoobies is gay" might just have been an idea Joss and co had in their back pocket to be dropped at any point that they had one of the two single and could shake things up.

I was also thinking about this yesterday, because if I were to rank which of the show's main characters are the most well-developed, Xander would probably be second to last, if not the very last character in the ranking. For someone who was introduced in S1, he really doesn't have very much character development. I have to wonder if I would appreciate him more if the showrunners had done more with him.

Xander had development, but so much of it was off-screen. We see every bit of Willow's descent and redemption. We see the developments of Angel, Riley and Spike. We even see more of ANDREW's journey in S7 than we do Xander. Heck, Anya had more on screen development with Xander, and her entire arc was ABOUT her relationship with Xander. It was as if in deciding that since he was the only one without powers (untrue, Anya didn't have powers either) he was the designated Normal one. And normal equals boring. Hell, most of the cast of Angel had zero powers and they got development.

Hmm. I see your point, and I agree that Xander was underdeveloped and underutilized....but. But I'd argue that Xander's strength was his relationship with the Scoobies, particularly Buffy. I've said this before, but it's my absolute belief that Xander was Buffy's best friend, not Willow, though it was always assumed it was Willow. Remember Xander is the heart. He was put on the sidelines to allow the others to shine, but he was always the most supportive. That's why it's so tragic how he loses an eye...helping Buffy of course. Just my two cents.

I don't disagree. He absolutely IS Buffy's best friend. And Willow's too. He is the emotional rock of the group, except when the writers decide he isn't.

I think a lot of the problem is that his arc in the first three seasons is him becoming more competent, a better person, less petty and a capable member of the team. But the later seasons aborted that arc. Much of this I think has to do with real world circumstances. Xander was originally created as the eventual Buffy LI and male lead of the show. Angel was more popular, and the tragic love story fit the gothic mood of the show. Plus physically Angel could go toe to tow with demons as Buffy's backup and brought a lot of lore and supernatural ideas to the show. Willow was also normal, but became a witch so she had the magic part covered. Giles had the wise mentor and hidden badass part covered. That just left Xander without much of a role in the actual main thrust of the show, the supernatural elements.

I think this is why he often feels like a vestigal limb in later seasons.

 

[thetopher]

My reading of Xander's development is that he's fine in high school, in S4 he's kind of the butt of the joke, in S5 he becomes more respected as 'the working stiff scoobie' who can use his skills when needed.
In all these seasons he has a clearly defined relationship within the group that is slowly changing and evolving. There's plenty of balacing going on in terms of his scenes with Willow and Buffy and the conversations they have. Even his relationship with Giles is developing into something a little more interesting,
...But then in S6 he becomes all about Anya; he just stops having any meaningful moments with his friends because the writers want to isolate all the characters. Buffy has her depression plus her secret fling with Spike, Willow has the drugs-bad-junkie arc and her collapsing relationship with Tara that she has to work on. Xander gets 'prep for marriage' which actually might be less material than Dawn now that I think about it.

And then rinse and repeat the same shortcoming for a lot of S7; he becomes background guy for most of the season; just busily dealing with his non-relationship with Anya.

S8 of the comics is actually very instructive about how to utilize Xander better...but the writers couldn't do that in S6 or 7 because of where they wanted to take other characters; chiefly Buffy herself.

 

[Bishop Cruz]

...But then in S6 he becomes all about Anya; he just stops having any meaningful moments with his friends because the writers want to isolate all the characters. Buffy has her depression plus her secret fling with Spike, Willow has the drugs-bad-junkie arc and her collapsing relationship with Tara that she has to work on. Xander gets 'prep for marriage' which actually might be less material than Dawn now that I think about it.

And then rinse and repeat the same shortcoming for a lot of S7; he becomes background guy for most of the season; just busily dealing with his non-relationship with Anya.

S8 of the comics is actually very instructive about how to utilize Xander better...but the writers couldn't do that in S6 or 7 because of where they wanted to take other characters; chiefly Buffy herself.

The issue I have with S6, is that it really is just a darker version of S4. Everyone is growing apart, but this time with codependent relationships and more sexual assault. And I actually LIKE a lot of season 6. The writers just loved that drama for drama's sake stuff. And despite the tone of what I am saying, I think s6 handled it the best and actually gave a reason for everything "coming out so dark".

Early Season 7 might be some of my favorite Xander stuff when he was actually you know, a part of the family. He and Buffy taking care of dawn, bringing Willow back into the group. All of them being friends, with hints of something more... but I think I am repeating myself.

I LOVED him in Season 8, well until he started boning Dawn, still a horrible choice. The funny thing with the comics is that the exact same thing happened to him there as it did in the series proper. He starts with an arc, becomes a more confident and interesting character, has hints of maybe a possible romance with Buffy down the line, then he becomes less useful as the series progresses. In seasons 9-12 he was, again, all about his singular relationship. This time it was Dawn not Anya, but it ended up being the same thing.

 

[thetopher]

The issue I have with S6, is that it really is just a darker version of S4.

I see what you're saying but S6 lacks two things that S4 had; one S4 is busy; its a new location with a bunch of new characters all doing new things. Quite a few sub-plots and themes at play.
And it has a mysterious threat to be uncovered (The Initiative) which many of the characters can focus on and investigate, even when the viewers know what's up.

S6 has neither numerous sub-plots or a compelling/competent Big Bad. Week-to-week viewing was a slog. It is the season that most benefits from box-set binge-watching.

Early Season 7 might be some of my favorite Xander stuff when he was actually you know, a part of the family.

Yeah, in the first 3rd Xander is great...then the plot pivots and pretty much focuses on Spike and the Potentials for the rest of the season.

I LOVED him in Season 8

In S8 Xander is basically Buffy's second-in-command and he's pretty awesome, living his best self. And then yeah, it fell apart in later seasons as he became XanDawn; the Xander/Dawn collective that has no individual story, only couple stuff.

 

[Bishop Cruz]

I see what you're saying but S6 lacks two things that S4 had; one S4 is busy; its a new location with a bunch of new characters all doing new things. Quite a few sub-plots and themes at play.
And it has a mysterious threat to be uncovered (The Initiative) which many of the characters can focus on and investigate, even when the viewers know what's up.

S6 has neither numerous sub-plots or a compelling/competent Big Bad. Week-to-week viewing was a slog. It is the season that most benefits from box-set binge-watching.

Yeah, but I think thematically s6 works well, but I agree, it was painful watching it as it came out. I compare the two because they have the two best individual episodes of Buffy, OMWF and Hush, but are generally meandering with horrible villain arcs and a general lack of common sense. I will say that s6 was the one that improved the most for me on rewatch. S4 had far better standalone episodes though, and it was definitely more fun. OTOH S6 has the only Buffy "romance" arc I liked which was showing how horrible the codependent abusive relationship between her and Spike was. It was brutal, fairly realistic, and ended in misery as it was always going to.

Yeah, in the first 3rd Xander is great...then the plot pivots and pretty much focuses on Spike and the Potentials for the rest of the season.



In S8 Xander is basically Buffy's second-in-command and he's pretty awesome, living his best self. And then yeah, it fell apart in later seasons as he became XanDawn; the Xander/Dawn collective that has no individual story, only couple stuff.

It didn't help that Spike was as interesting as sliced white bread through the bulk of S7, so we lost out on Xander for no good reason.

And yeah, it really feels like writers cannot imagine Xander as capable and awesome for long, he just falls back to default decoration

 

[Joan the Vampire Slayer]

I don't disagree. He absolutely IS Buffy's best friend. And Willow's too. He is the emotional rock of the group, except when the writers decide he isn't.

I think a lot of the problem is that his arc in the first three seasons is him becoming more competent, a better person, less petty and a capable member of the team. But the later seasons aborted that arc. Much of this I think has to do with real world circumstances. Xander was originally created as the eventual Buffy LI and male lead of the show. Angel was more popular, and the tragic love story fit the gothic mood of the show. Plus physically Angel could go toe to tow with demons as Buffy's backup and brought a lot of lore and supernatural ideas to the show. Willow was also normal, but became a witch so she had the magic part covered. Giles had the wise mentor and hidden badass part covered. That just left Xander without much of a role in the actual main thrust of the show, the supernatural elements.

I think this is why he often feels like a vestigal limb in later seasons.

I agree with all of this for sure.

 

[Tome]

I like Xander. I don't really agree with you that he had no character development later on. He had his moments even in the last two seasons. Also, comparing him to Wesley is a little unfair, because the latter had one of the best character arcs in the Buffyverse. Most characters did not get the Wesley treatment.

With that said, I do agree about a few things concerning him...
- He does get shit on a lot for calling out Buffy. More than other characters.
- He did remain a little too boringly normal over the course of the series. I've often argued that he could have learned some form of combat to be more useful in battle.
- His relationship with Giles could have been explored a little more.
- He took too much of a backseat in S7.

As for the possibilities that have been talked about, like Xander hooking up with Buffy or him being gay, I'm ok with how it played out. I love Buffy and Xander's relationship. I think it's not surprising that a guy like him was attracted to a girl like Buffy, but I prefer their friendship. Xander being gay wouldn't have made sense to me. I know people have said it came out of the blue for Willow, but I disagree with that. There were signs when it came to Willow, but there were none when it came to Xander.

I'm not the biggest Anya fan, but I think their relationship was fine. Like someone said, the writers used those two as comic relief a lot in S5 & S6. I don't think Xander could have had that much of a different character arc while in that relationship with Anya. I suppose they could have explored his fears of becoming like his father a lot more in S6.

Still, I don't think he was done dirty. Just a character that didn't have as dramatic of an arc as some others. He played support and he was the heart of the group, which is a role usually given to female characters in traditional stories, so that might be why you're feeling like the character was unfulfilled.

 

[Bishop Cruz]

I like Xander. I don't really agree with you that he had no character development later on. He had his moments even in the last two seasons. Also, comparing him to Wesley is a little unfair, because the latter had one of the best character arcs in the Buffyverse. Most characters did not get the Wesley treatment.

With that said, I do agree about a few things concerning him...
- He does get shit on a lot for calling out Buffy. More than other characters.
- He did remain a little too boringly normal over the course of the series. I've often argued that he could have learned some form of combat to be more useful in battle.
- His relationship with Giles could have been explored a little more.
- He took too much of a backseat in S7.

As for the possibilities that have been talked about, like Xander hooking up with Buffy or him being gay, I'm ok with how it played out. I love Buffy and Xander's relationship. I think it's not surprising that a guy like him was attracted to a girl like Buffy, but I prefer their friendship. Xander being gay wouldn't have made sense to me. I know people have said it came out of the blue for Willow, but I disagree with that. There were signs when it came to Willow, but there were none when it came to Xander.

I'm not the biggest Anya fan, but I think their relationship was fine. Like someone said, the writers used those two as comic relief a lot in S5 & S6. I don't think Xander could have had that much of a different character arc while in that relationship with Anya. I suppose they could have explored his fears of becoming like his father a lot more in S6.

Still, I don't think he was done dirty. Just a character that didn't have as dramatic of an arc as some others. He played support and he was the heart of the group, which is a role usually given to female characters in traditional stories, so that might be why you're feeling like the character was unfulfilled.

Disagree on it being because he was male and in a more traditional female role or whatever that means. I'd much argue Dawn was done dirty as well as she had nothing to do after season 5.

I mean, other than those two, every character in the credits of both Angel and Buffy had a major transformational arc. Every single one. Xander feels unique in his position of being not only the second-billed character in his show, the original male lead, and a major part of the group since day 1. For a character who was around for seven seasons he really did not have that much of an arc, and he also wasn't very involved in the overall story of the season much past S3. I realize that seems weird when he was literally the one who talked willow down. But honestly, it didn't land as well as it could have because he and Willow hadn't been that close in years and their relationship wasn't much of a focus in S6.

As for the Wesley bits. Yes Wesley had an amazing arc, one of the best in the entire series, but even taking that as true, he had more development in 1 and a half seasons of Angel than Xander had in seven seasons. That to me, is the definition of a character being done dirty. When everyone else but them gets major character work, arcs, and interesting things to do that move the story along in meaningful ways, that is on the writers. That isn't to say I didn't like some of the stuff he did get, his emotional support scenes worked very well, and his humor for a while did too. But that doesn't mean there was not massive wasted potential with him.

Now as for shipping stuff, that is always personal. Xander and Anya were fine, just like you said. Fine. Not the best or even all that interesting and by the tail end of season 6 they were long past their sell by date, even before Hell's Bells. They were a couple for nearly three full seasons, and the last season still dealt with that relationship on and off, so almost four. And that was really his main character beat especially in the UPN years. Again, I am unapologetic in my Bander love, probably due to being a fan since day 1, and around the age of the Scoobies when the show came out.

As for the gay stuff. I don't think there was really that much hinting at Willow being gay. People cite Dopplegangland, but forget that Vamps are generally omnisexual, and she was IN A RELATIONSHIP with Vampire Xander. But bisexuality isn't a thing in the Buffyverse outside of "experimentation" in S8 or a throwaway joke about Spike and Angel. Not to say I didn't like Willow and Tara, I loved them, but in the first three seasons and change Willow was written to be straight as an arrow, as was Xander. No matter who was picked, it was going to be weird. That was an inevitability.

It's been a fun conversation here, and I did think about something else. Mainly, the episode that created the blueprint for useless in combat Xander. And it is a well loved episode, still one of my favorites even. And that is The Zeppo. On its own it isn't bad at all, it's quite good. But even back in the day, I did think that the gang was acting out of character trying to keep Xander away from the big fight, and having him just get donuts and treating him like well, the Zeppo. Before that episode it was never really a thing. Xander helped Buffy fight off vamps, spent a summer fighting vampires, was always part of the group meetings, and was never an outsider in his own peer group. So, in effect, the episode that was supposed to show how special Xander was in some ways did the opposite. It changed him from part of the group to the weird weak outsider, and while the rest of S3 didn't treat him badly, S4 and onwards took that idea and ran with it.

 

[NotASlayer]

I got the definite impression that Xander would undergo character development, which would then be tossed out for comedic purposes. Rinse and repeat. Realistically, Xander would have been a lot more competent and dangerous in a fight than he's typically portrayed, considering what he'd been doing. If he was truly as incompetent as they tended to depict him, he'd have died long ago.

 

[stars90]

I definitely agree that Xander's development was undercut, but I'd say it was mostly in the last two seasons. They became too wedded to him as the comic relief and (with exceptions of course) little more. It's especially aggravating because they had the perfect opportunity to take his growth in a new direction- if he'd simply been more affected going forward by the suave side after he was split in two. I feel like his making something of himself and his life were his character arc, and it needed more.

Also, as a hardcore Bander shipper, I feel like this is a big part of why Buffy and Xander getting together near the end would have been a great tie off to their individual arcs. Xander would've been the ultimate expression of Buffy coming to understand that she'd been looking for the wrong things in men, and that she was strong enough herself that she didn't need her boyfriend to be someone who could keep up with her in battle. Rather she needed someone who could pull tether her to the light when she started to fall into her own darkness.

And for Xander, Buffy's falling for him would be the ultimate expression of his growth: the biggest emblem of his feeling like he wasn't good enough early on was that Buffy just didn't see him in any kind of romantic way. What better way to showcase his growth than for her to see who he's become and fall in love with him?