IWRY Marathon *Reviews & Feedback*

Dearest Demon by xspike4evax.

1. How good of a job has the author done in capturing the voices of the characters in the story?
I’m happy that yet again another fic doesn’t have OOC moments.

2. How effective is the writer in capturing the Bangel relationship dynamic?
The author realistically portrayed Angel and Buffy making love.

3. What are some of the greatest strengths of the fic?
The moment dragged on for so long that Buffy finally spoke. “Why are you staring at me?”
“Because you’re you and I’m me.”

4. What is some construction criticism you would have for the writer?
I don’t have any. Mature fics aren’t really my thing, but I didn’t mind reading this one even though it only contained a sex scene. It was tastefully portrayed so well done!
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I haven't read Keep going yet, but I will! The word count is a bit bigger than the other participation fics 😛
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Akai Ito by Darlingvioletta

1. How good of a job has the author done in capturing the voices of the characters in the story?
I like the story, but I don't think Angel would try to kill himself at that point in his development. However, putting that aside I do think the author captured Angel's voice.

2. How effective is the writer in capturing the Bangel relationship dynamic?
Angel's undying love for Buffy was well written and believable.

3. What are some of the greatest strengths of the fic?
Somewhere on the wire, too far away to reach at the moment, Angel saw Buffy in a white dress, calmer and happier than ever. He reached out to touch her, but the image disappeared.
"Buffy ..." He whispered.

4. What is some construction criticism you would have for the writer?
Be careful not to include stereotypes (Magical Asian)
 
@dcai0830 Thanks for the heads up. I'll wait for your G rated ones then 🙂
 
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Mrs Gordo
Mrs Gordo
If mature fics aren’t your thing don’t read Keep Going! Wait for one of my G rated ones :) :)
I finally read @Grace 's Another Minute and I absolutely loved it!!

1. How good of a job has the author done in capturing the voices of the characters in the story?

Very good. I'm very impressed with the way you write Buffy. It really does feel like her ("gem of whatever", lol, but also her insecurities). And I can feel Angel through all the little moments of silence.

2. How effective is the writer in capturing the Bangel relationship dynamic?

Very effective. It's very much the way they interact with each other.

3. What are some of the greatest strengths of the fic?

I love the way you set your fics within the shows's canon by adding little details and referring to moments from the episodes surrounding that moment. The gem of whatever (couldn't resist 🙂 ) and the way you used it as a parallel and way for Buffy to deal with some of the things that IWRY brought up (without her knowing) was genius! And getting to know/imagine some of her thoughts about sending that ring to him (because you are right, there's no way she just sent it to him and never thought of it again) was heartbreaking, in a good way. Also, the way you used the sewer dialogue and it working perfectly in that beach scene. And finally, "It wasn't enough time"... are you serious?? That line is going to haunt me now, lol. I love it!!

4. What is some construction criticism you would have for the writer?

I don't really have any criticism to give, I'm kind of in love with your writing and just want to keep reading your work. I'd say keep focusing on characterization the way you've done so far. Because it truly is a joy reading your fics, I feel like I'm getting more moments with those characters and this ship I love so much and it all feels very canon to me.
 
Grace
Grace
Thank you so much for the kind words! So glad you liked it!
Mrs Gordo
Mrs Gordo
See I wasn’t overselling. :)
Prom by @dcai0830

1. How good of a job has the author done in capturing the voices of the characters in the story?

It was super sweet to get a third character's perspective on Buffy and Angel, and the choice for who that character was made me so happy. I thought Buffy and Angel sounded like themselves after lots of years of happiness.

2. How effective is the writer in capturing the Bangel relationship dynamic?

Very effective! They manage to be both timeless and very of the now.

3. What are some of the greatest strengths of the fic?

The little details! I loved getting confirmation of who the narrator was when she mentioned her own brown eyes. I also knew who the yearbook in question belonged to right away, which was a great touch. And I just adored this line: "And then there was something about a curse but I wasn’t clear on the details and no one seemed to want to give me the scoop." So funny!

This quote was also very beautiful: "To be there, on that night, with you, it was magic, the real life kind."

4. What is some construction criticism you would have for the writer?

You really had to go with Chad?! 🙂 🙂 🙂
 
Mrs Gordo
Mrs Gordo
I’m so glad to hear you liked it :)
Grace said:
. I also knew who the yearbook in question belonged to right away, which was a great touch.
Click to expand...

I think it’s cool that you caught this. I was reading it back and wasn’t sure if people would get it right away. They say trust your audience right? But it’s hard to know when you are being too subtle. That’s why I put the stuff about Angel talking about it later.
 
If Dreams Came True by xspike4evax
Heartbreaking short story. Buffy her thoughts are well portrayed. Only criticism I have is the following line: Now it seemed it wasn’t just geographical (and hey, points to her for using a word like geographical), but in all ways. - Maybe it's just me, but I think Buffy would know that world. I mean it isn't such a difficult word, is it?
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Prom by @dcai0830
1. How good of a job has the author done in capturing the voices of the characters in the story?
Amazingly! I could really see them in the future like that. O0h if only Joss would give us an ending like that. I absolutely love seeing their daughter. So refreshing to see our favorite ship from a third person's perspective.
2. How effective is the writer in capturing the Bangel relationship dynamic?
10 out of 10! And Angel singing in the shower is just perfect 😛 And what a cute moment:
Kathy had taught me many times to work these smartphones, I knew I could figure this out. I found the song I was looking for, hit the bluetooth speaker and played the song.

''Childhood living is easy to do
The things you wanted I bought them for you''

Perfect ending!

3. What are some of the greatest strengths of the fic?
The amount of details. You can really visualize everything because of it.
4. What is some construction criticism you would have for the writer?
It's good. I can't provide any criticism.
 
Mrs Gordo
Mrs Gordo
Oh yay! I’m glad you enjoyed it :)
Grace said:
The twelfth story is The Future Belongs by fluffernutter8.
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I always like flutternutter’s stuff to the extent that I think she gives good plotty work. One thing I found a little strange was that Buffy would be so open to talking to Angel about Riley stuff. Buffy is usually so guarded. I love the idea of B/A having a relationship or keeping in touch... I think my only problem with this story is I was left wanting more 🙂 but that’s only because I felt like it was really going somewhere. But I enjoyed it and there was good stuff here.
 
Such good reading!

The Work We Do by @dcai0830

1. How good of a job has the author done in capturing the voices of the characters in the story?

Really well. I loved getting to see Angel and Buffy work through their issues in a way that seemed honest and believable.

2. How effective is the writer in capturing the Bangel relationship dynamic?

Great. While this story makes a lot of welcome changes to canon, it doesn't shortcut where their relationship is at this point. There's tension and simmering anger and it doesn't just magically go away.

3. What are some of the greatest strengths of the fic?

The ending is so satisfying! And throughout the story, Angel and Buffy both reflect on their history together in beautiful ways. I really felt the love between them.

4. What is some constructive criticism you would have for the writer?

Just to remember: Strong is publishing! A new mantra 🙂


The Future Belongs by fluffernutter8

1. How good of a job has the author done in capturing the voices of the characters in the story?

Perfectly. I especially loved Buffy's dialogue. Angel's thoughts and feelings felt very real, too.

2. How effective is the writer in capturing the Bangel relationship dynamic?

The author definitely has the push-pull down. Knowing it will probably hurt but being unable to stay away.

3. What are some of the greatest strengths of the fic?

The humor! The idea for the fic was also very clever, and I loved seeing more of Cordelia, Wes and Gunn during this time period as well. And Dennis!

4. What is some constructive criticism you would have for the writer?

Don't stop there! Keep going! 🙂


Turnabout by @Taaroko

1. How good of a job has the author done in capturing the voices of the characters in the story?

This isn't really fic, this is a scene we didn't see! Season 1 Buffy is so much fun, and I'm so glad to get more of her, and a totally smitten Angel, of course.

2. How effective is the writer in capturing the Bangel relationship dynamic?

Wonderfully. Buffy's reasoning for tracking Angel is perfectly in character, and Angel being unable to resist Buffy's charms despite his reservations is delightful.

3. What are some of the greatest strengths of the fic?

The last line makes me swoon. The writing is charming and funny. And it's Season 1 (paging @NileQT87 !), which we don't see often.

4. What is some constructive criticism you would have for the writer?

Hahaha, I'd like to see me try.
 
Taaroko always comes through when I need my early Bangel fix. 😀

Kind of reminds me of a conversation we had a while ago about Angel still drinking human blood from hospitals up through at least 2x08. Although there's also reason to suspect it's because he was still recovering from 20 years of poor diet and knowing that animal blood doesn't have the same restorative effects as human (Deep Down), which would also explain his weakness and fear pre-Angelus and post-hell/pre-Slayer drinking. Angel calling in favors after saving people's lives or helping them were touched upon in AtS (the freighter for the Listers in Hero), so this is believable, too.

However, Buffy seemed very unaware that Angel was using hospital blood (perhaps not even human blood) in 2x08 and she pointedly gives a disapproving look when she belatedly realizes why he's there and knows the delivery schedule, which makes this fic a bit non-canon-compliant. I slightly disagree with the whitewashing of Angel in terms of his reluctance to take blood from the hospital in this fic (he was clearly there to steal some in 2x08), even if I definitely buy him working out a deal for a cut of it.

Everything Taaroko writes is still worth reading, though!
 
I don't know if I read that scene in 2x08 as Angel being there to steal blood himself. The idea that he might've been was definitely what Buffy disapproved of, but he shrugged that off way too easily and assured her he'd make sure the blood got where it needed to go for me to think he was set on claiming it for himself. It seems more likely that he was there to make sure other vampires didn't steal it, because of course other vampires were going to try to steal it. Does it count as white-washing to acknowledge that Angel definitely drank human blood on at least a semi-regular basis before S3, just because he wanted to make sure the patients got what they needed first?

Good point though about how this kinda creates a problem with Buffy's surprise to find Angel at the hospital in 2x08. *frown* I hadn't thought of that.
 
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Buffy's disapproving look to Angel definitely suggests she realizes he was there, knowing the schedule, to take blood for himself (perhaps not the whole delivery like the other vampires), even if he likely decides after that scene to get the unopened bags of blood to the hospital, finish off the torn one and find a new source of food. That moment wouldn't have been there if Angel was there for entirely pure reasons. I could buy him perhaps setting up a deal to keep other vampires away on delivery night for a cut of a few bags.

I actually like that he was still struggling in this period to work out how he's going to get healthy enough to be of any help and join the human world (2x05/2x06 is him taking baby steps). He's not quite as pure as Buffy's heroic ideals at this stage (he was always more willing to kill human evildoers than she was). There's still a bit of him that's reluctant and unsure. 1x12 doesn't shy away from showing Angel not really knowing how to be a hero yet. He knows he wants to help people (he'd even tried it before, only to be rejected by both vampires and humans alike) and Buffy, but this is still new to him. He first thinks that he can only help her as long as she doesn't know what he is, and then, he believes he must stay away from her to keep her safe from his feelings that are getting in the way. Buffy was the first to disprove the inevitability of prophecy and fate, which he seems to have rigidly believed in the inevitability of prior (being taught everything by the traditionalist Aurelius elite, no doubt).

Whistler brought up blood from the butcher, but it didn't stop him from still getting human blood for about a year and a half (or needing, as per Whistler's commenting on his physical state and Wesley's realization that animal blood wasn't enough in Deep Down). While he reacts terribly to human blood in his system (or worse, Slayer), he still has to have blood to drink. He knows that, while animal blood can keep him alive, he's coming back from a being a complete wreck. He was outright starving himself and had fallen so low that he wasn't fast enough to catch a rat. Buffy's disapproval no doubt pushed him to move strictly to the suggested pig's blood diet, even when he's just been in hell and is still suffering physical weakness (just being able to stand for long periods) as late as 3x08. That's the difference between in him seasons 1-2 and season 3. In season 3, he knows he could get better faster by not going only to the butcher, but he wants Buffy's approval and to live up to her ideals (of course, she was also the one bringing him his meals when he was too weak to go himself). Another reason Graduation Day is so bad for him.

In the 76ish years pre-rats (though rats were also on the menu, such as at the docks in China and on the ship to America), we saw him with hospital blood in a jar and his cravings around any human contact were causing him to be very antisocial (his terseness in 1920s Chicago, as well as the diner with the pounding heartbeats and relapse). His behavior in City of... and Sleep Tight echo his antisocial tendencies when non-animal blood is in his system. Seasons 1 and early 2 are once again cases of him being very reluctant to have social contact being combined with human blood in his system.

Also, Buffy frustrated that she can't effectively sneak up on or tail Angel is definitely true to the show! One of my favorite bits of this fic. I enjoyed it a lot, regardless.

Speaking of Taaroko's love of missing scenes:

One weird moment that always pops out at me in 1x07 is when Buffy has that line at the hospital where she says, "No? I invited him into my home. Even after I knew who he was, what he was, and I didn't do anything about it..." (SMG's phrasing is different from the script!). This is also the episode where she knows where Angel seemingly lives (perhaps only knowing he's near the Bronze a lot, but then Xander knows his address all of the sudden in 1x12 even though we never see Buffy go there until season 2). Is it just me or is there a gaping missing scene here where Buffy invites Angel over again between screaming at his game face and before he comes to knock on the door (when Joyce screams)? Angel's coming to tell her his story in a much less harsh way, obviously, but gets interrupted. Not to mention a likely missing scene of finding his apartment? Though it might also be the fact that she just let him go after him screaming, despite him having access to her house (the scripted version suggests that more). Still, that line always jumps out at me along with Buffy and Xander knowing where he lives all of the sudden. SMG's changed wording makes it a bit ambiguous.
 
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Taaroko said:
I don't know if I read that scene in 2x08 as Angel being there to steal blood himself. The idea that he might've been was definitely what Buffy disapproved of, but he shrugged that off way too easily and assured her he'd make sure the blood got where it needed to go for me to think he was set on claiming it for himself. It seems more likely that he was there to make sure other vampires didn't steal it, because of course other vampires were going to try to steal it. Does it count as white-washing to acknowledge that Angel definitely drank human blood on at least a semi-regular basis before S3, just because he wanted to make sure the patients got what they needed first?

Good point though about how this kinda creates a problem with Buffy's surprise to find Angel at the hospital in 2x08. *frown* I hadn't thought of that.
Click to expand...

I had always kind of assumed Angel was there in The Dark Age because he was keeping tabs on Buffy and the "everyone knows it's delivery day" thing was a cover. 🙂 I like your reason better though, and I enjoyed your story so much!
 
Just read @dcai0830 's Keep Going and enjoyed it a lot!!

1. How good of a job has the author done in capturing the voices of the characters in the story?

A good job, especially in their conversations about hell.

2. How effective is the writer in capturing the Bangel relationship dynamic?

I thought you captured their lasting connection perfectly! I love the idea that Buffy felt her safest in Angel's arms and it is now my headcanon. I think the show supports this 🙂

3. What are some of the greatest strengths of the fic?

The way the relationships evolved and the characters slowly grew back to each other. It was very well told and the pace made it a very enjoyable story to read. The conversations between Buffy and Angel about hell and her trauma and Angel's speech about Buffy still being Buffy were a highlight for me! And I love the way you wrote the other characters too. And I loved the little bits of petty Angel lol

4. What is some construction criticism you would have for the writer?

I don't really have any. I don't particularly love seeing Buffy so low but the fact that you dealt with her PTSD and made her see a therapist (which I've always been bitter about the show not doing it in s6) makes it a satisfying story in the end. You also managed to write a story where Bangel reuniting after the comics would work in a believable way so props to you!! 😀
 
Mrs Gordo
Mrs Gordo
Thank you for reading it. I’m glad you enjoyed it! :)
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