I have a lot of problem with this post. The "trigger warning" made me want to not read it altogether, but I think I'll try and take a stab at refuting some of these arguments.
Season 6 of BtVS is, quite frankly, an absolute mess. The inertia of Buffy’s depression makes it an incredibly slow and heavy season and when her horrendous relationship with Spike is added into the mix, it become almost unbearable to watch. What makes this even worse, is the rampant victim blaming laid at Buffy’s feet, which can (somewhat) be blamed on the narrative. The show makes it very clear that we are supposed to believe – in some part – that Buffy is responsible for Spike’s treatment of her, which is just ridiculously vile, not to mention irresponsible. The show constantly has Spike telling Buffy off for coming to him, using him, etc., and Season 7 even has Buffy agreeing with Spike.
Ok, first of all, Season 6 has it's problems, but I would not use the words 'absolute mess.' It does a lot of things right... On the surface-level you've got the amazing OMWF, the hilarious Tabula Rasa, the legitimately horrifying Normal Again, a few fun one-offs with Doublemeat Palace and Older and Faraway, a fantastic and epic season finale mega-arc, a unique set of Big Bads, a death that no one will ever forget, and whether you like it or not, the origin of Spuffy.
On the metaphor side we have Willow's enormous screw-up, living and learning from it, and figuring out how to move on, Buffy's depression, living as an adult, making decisions without your parents; being in an abusive relationship, and moving from blaming yourself to loving yourself and the world around you. That's the part I think you don't get. Regardless of whether you or I think that Buffy deserves to be treated or looked at as being victim-blamed,
Buffy feels that way. She believes that it was her fault, and watching her come out of that hole of self-blame is cathartic and honestly kind of beautiful.
Oh, and here's the other thing... It partly was Buffy's fault!
It’s bad enough how much Spike victimises Buffy, but to then have her accept blame for said victimisation, when she literally did nothing to warrant it, sends a ridiculously messed up message which, unfortunately, parts of the fandom gobble up. The narrative tells us Buffy is responsible for her abuse at Spike’s hands and, instead of questioning why a show which prides itself on its feminist values is engaging in such blatant victim blaming, fans turn on Buffy, blame her for Spike’s abuse, and literally seem to believe that Buffy using Spike for sex warrants him beating her, raping her and emotionally abusing and manipulating her. It begs the question, why does a fandom which supposedly loves its main character so much, view her so badly. Well, in my mind, the answer is obvious. Because they love the male character more.
I don't think anyone thinks that Spike was in the right for attempting to rape Buffy. I also don't think anyone approves of the way he treated her. If a huge Spuffy fan might look past Spike's past it's probably just because he/she likes them as a couple, regardless of the trials and tribulations that got them there.
I'm sorry, but
not blaming Buffy in the slightest is absolutely ridiculous. Sure, Spike's the evil one here, but Buffy knew exactly what she was getting into. She knew that having sex with a vampire was a bad idea. Once she broke it off, everything that happened afterwards was entirely Spike's fault, but Buffy did not make good decisions, and she knows it. Calling her out =/= blaming the victim.
Spike has always been one of the most popular Buffyverse characters, and this popularity appears to blind the fandom to his faults and mistreatment of Buffy or, at the very least, convinces them that what Spike did wasn’t actually all that bad and that Buffy probably deserved it. Trust me, I get it, when your favourite character eff’s up so badly, it’s very easy to get defensive over their actions or try to justify them in some way. But if doing so involves victim blaming, engaging in rape culture and displaying such a deep level of misogyny, I can’t help but feel that maybe fans should be reassessing their defence of Spike, especially since what Spike puts Buffy through in Season 6 is plainly and inarguably domestic violence, for which there is no excuse. At some point in time, the audience needs to look at the narrative we’re being told to believe, and the one actually unfolding onscreen.
You are misinterpreting and assuming that the show wants you to think that it was Buffy's fault, and Spike had nothing to be blamed for. I don't remember ever feeling that way and I've watched Season 6 like 10 times. Spike isn't my favorite character or anything, but his actions, while often disgusting, are exactly what you would expect out of the character, seeing as he's a vampire without a soul and all.
Over the course of Season 6, Spike emotionally abuses, physically beats and sexually assaults Buffy (including raping her on at least one occasion) and, contrary to popular belief, she literally does nothing to warrant it. Does she go to Spike for sex? Yes. But if you want to use this as an argument for why she holds responsibility for any of the abuse Spike put her through, you might as well argue that any woman who is raped by a man she has previously consented to have sex with is asking for it, because, hey, she’s said yes before! This is the kind of thinking which kept marital rape from being recognised until the 80s.
It seems like you're obsessed with making Buffy the damsel in distress that did nothing wrong. Was Spike aggressive and manipulative? Sure, but the sex was a two-way street. Buffy
chose to meet up with him (and de facto date him for a few episode, if we're being honest). Buffy wanted exactly what she got (besides the rape. Obviously not defending that). She knew exactly what she was getting into, and she just kept going back. I don't think people should look down on her. She was obviously going through some serious stuff, but at the end of the day, it was 100% her fault. She could've simply
not gone to see him, but she just kept going back.
The other frequent argument I see is that Buffy had previously said “no” when she actually meant “yes”, which is gross and shows a vast misunderstanding of how consent works. If Buffy says no, then that means no. If she verbally tells Spike to stop, then Spike should stop. If she in any way indicates that she is not one hundred per cent consenting, then whatever happens afterwards is sexual assault. Now, I can’t fully blame the fandom for this, as it’s really the writers fault that Buffy’s “no’s” are viewed as “yes’s”. They wrote it as such, but we don’t have to buy into it. The fandom needs to educate themselves on issues of consent, on what constitutes rape and sexual assault, and realise that Buffy’s “no’s” are just that – no’s. Again, this kind of thinking is what leads to real-life rapes and sexual assaults.
Buffy is different from other women. When most women say no, and the guy continues, there isn't anything they can do. It's an entirely different situation from a fictional character who has
superpowers! When Buffy says no, and if she really didn't want it, she could have beat the crap out of him! She could have easily fought him off. Her saying no, and then doing it anyway, shows the viewers that she knows that it's bad, but really wants it deep down. Should Spike have stopped? Yes. Did Buffy know that he wouldn't, unless she put up a fight? Yes. Again, she put herself in that situation, and she clearly wanted to have sex with Spike.
And this brings me to my final point, what a lot of fans seem to overlook constantly - that the Spuffy ship and their defense of it actually has real-world connotations. Every time a Spuffy fan defends the relationship by blaming Buffy, they are basically blaming any woman trapped in an abusive relationship. They are undermining what these women go through, what they endure, all for the sake of ship. Not only is it insulting to abuse survivors everywhere, it could potentially produce more victims. If young girls and women genuinely believe that Buffy is asking for the abuse that Spike doles out, if they genuinely believe that she is in any way responsible, what will happen if they themselves get trapped in abusive relationships. How will they extract themselves from such a relationship, if they believe that women bring abuse on themselves. And if men genuinely believe that Buffy is to blame, what’s to stop them from beating or raping women in the future, and hiding behind victim blaming. It’s a terrifying thought.
Wow, you have got some serious hyperbole going on here.
1. No one thinks that Buffy and Spike's "relationship" in S6 was a good one. No one believes that she was making the right decisions. Every Spuffy fan I've ever talked to is way more into the idea that Buffy was slightly attracted to the man, which lead them to fall in actual love in future seasons once he got a soul.
2. I don't know how you don't see it, but the show makes abundantly clear that Buffy made supremely bad decisions over the course of S6, and when she decided to finally dump him, it was for the better. Nothing about this show celebrates this gross relationship in any way.
The victim blaming of Buffy really needs to stop but, unfortunately, it never will. Fans will keep buying into the narrative, falling in love with Spike, and treating Buffy like she’s the perpetrator. It’s really disheartening, and all we can do is hope that someday things will change. In the meantime, we should refuse to keep quiet on the subject, because despite fans claiming it’s just a television show, the truth is, media shapes, molds and guides us, and a relationship such as Spuffy is incredibly dangerous to current and future viewers.
You should read Season 10. Imo, that's the real Spuffy.
I think that the show is way more nuanced than you're giving it credit. Entertainment like Twilight paints a very clear picture that a woman should be subservient to a man. Buffy: Season 6 is more about abusive relationships, how awful they can be, why you would enter into one in the first place, and why you should try to get out. If you don't see that, you're just looking for things that aren't actually there.
Ok WOW, I just got done reading the rest of this thread, and now I feel a little silly for spending 20 minutes writing out that response post. That was quite the argument.
